Menopause! What-Not!

A few years ago, I started my “change of life” journey. I thought…hell, I can do this without drugs, supplements and what-not.

Well…folks that was a few years ago. And now…I’m ready for the what-not!

I’m tired of being tired, having an achy body, dry skin, dry hair, and hum…other dry parts.

So…..off to see that lovely doctor and her stirrups. Mind you….NOT riding stirrups.

Dr. Suzette took one long look and declared “Yes dear, you need the what-not.”

The big one….Estrogen.

Now ya’ll know that I am a horse lover, so the what-not must be plant–derived ….not from anything equine.

I got my script, faxed it to Medco. In order to get the lower cost meds, I must use the mail order process.

Medco calls, and leaves a computer generated voice mail on my home phone to tell me that they ONLY accept faxed scripts directly from the docs.

Okay…now, I have to contact Dr. Suzette again to ask her to PLEASE fax my script to Medco.

Finally…that is done, I get a call from Medco (that PC voice again) telling me that my script is ready for shipment, just need a Visa in order to complete the order.

I ring them up….sit on hold for …gosh….I ain’t kidding…over 20 minutes, all the while….I’m standing in the cleaning section of Walmart, trying to decide which dish soap to buy, since my fav foaming stuff is not on the shelf.

A young CSR girl finally gets to my call and tells me that I owe them $170.00 for three months worth of what-not.

Good lord…$170.00! I just about died. No wonder I’ve let things dry up for the last few years.

Don’t know about you, but folks that’s alot of moolah, smackers, greenbacks, dough, bacon…just plain hard earned cash.

I can buy lots of stuff for $170.00. Horse stuff! Gas! Food! Dog treats! Did I mention fuel?!

I shudder…shake my head….mumble something under my breath (remember I’m in Walmart) and give the young girl (who is busy producing her own what-not) my Visa card number.

Geez….now the two week wait for the what-not to arrive in my mailbox ….begins.

Menopause Joke of the Day:

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood it, turns green and when I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead!!

BTW….I ended up with Palmolive dish soap…in a pretty shade of green. Matched the cash I just spent on what-not.

Okay…I’m done ranting ….go home now!